Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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