first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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