Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
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