talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize