Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i came on her dog
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
