don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
