We're facebook friends in real life
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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