Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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