You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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