My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
