are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
