You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My feet surprised me
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