No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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