Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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