yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
