I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
