she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize