dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
