Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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