thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
