I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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