Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
