I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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