Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize