she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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