sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize