I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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