we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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