there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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