Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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