with your own penis?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
