Dual....:-)
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
