i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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