"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
