You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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