i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
