i dedicated my morning wood to you.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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