Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
