Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
