Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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