I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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