wat bout pragnant strippers??
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize