And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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