it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
