He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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