mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
