...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
