no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
