Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
