I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
