Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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