the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
