I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
