96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
