I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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