yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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