i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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