is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is wine microwaveable?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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