its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize