Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
