Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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