I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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