BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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