Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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