i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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