Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize