Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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