Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
