WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
